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1 August 2013

Reasons why I shouldn't write for MLP:FiM - Episode 7, Logic Duel.

            -           SCENE: EXTERIOR, PONYVILLE.

The Great and Powerful Trixie has just defeated Twilight Sparkle in the Magic Duel. The boastful unicorn relish in her victory as she cackles.

The Great and Powerful Trixie.

Trixie is the highest level unicorn! (Evil laugh) And now, it’s time for you to leave Ponyville, FOREVER!

Twilight Sparkle looks worried as she lowers her head and puts one leg over the other. Her five pony friends and Spike stand between her and Trixie.


That’s enough Trixie!


You proved your point, but you can’t possibly expect Twilight to leave Ponyville!

The Great and Powerful Trixie.

You fools...

We see Twilight gets wrapped in a field of red magic energy. She is suddenly lifted as she looks down to the ground, terrified of being held within Trixie’s magical embrace.

The Great and Powerful Trixie.

She’s already gone!

Trixie’s magic throws Twilight out of frame as Twilight screams. Her friends run out of the scene to follow her.

            -           SCENE. EXTERIOR, OUTSIDE PONYVILLE.

We see Twilight flying towards camera as she flails her legs helplessly. She looks even more terrified and freaked out as before. Unable to cushion the impact or stop her descent, she ends up falling down, bouncing like a ragdoll. Behind her the town is being covered with a giant magic dome of glass. She stands up and tries to get back inside, but it’s too late. Her friends and Spike stare at her from the other side.

Twilight Sparkle

Oh no.


What do we do now Twilight!?

Twilight Sparkle

I don’t know I...Wait a minute. Spike!


Yes Twi!?

Twilight Sparkle

Can you try and dig a hole under the dome?


Yes ma’am!

Spike proceeds to start digging like we have seen in episodes like “A Dog and Pony Show” and soon enough he disappears inside a cartoonish looking mount of dirt. After a couple of seconds we see Spike coming from the other side of the dome. Twilight claps her hooves in happiness.

Twilight Sparkle

Hah! I can’t believe Trixie thought this would work.

Twilight gets inside the hole and follows Spike back inside.

Rainbow Dash

Okay, you are back. We still have that crazy unicorn throwing magic spells left and right. What do we do about that!?

Twilight Sparkle

Simple, we do this.

            -           SCENE. EXTERIOR, PONYVILLE SQUARE.

Through a Gilligan cut we see Trixie as she is standing in front of the Ponyville hall, as she is placing the Mayor inside a bird’s cage.

The Great and Powerful Trixie

Now that Trixie is ruler, the need for the democracy is no more (more evil laughter).

A purple hoof taps Trixie on the shoulder. The crazy unicorn mare turns around, annoyed.

The Great and Powerful Trixie


Before she can even react, we see Twilight Sparkle smiling as she punches straight into the camera until it all goes black. As the camera is still black we hear several punching and kicking noises along with screaming and possibly hair tearing.

            -           SCENE. EXTERIOR, PONYVILLE.

We fade from black to a scene of Trixie being carried inside the bird’s cage that was used for Mayor Mare. She’s no longer wearing the Alicorn amulet as she’s being paraded before the whole town, who are throwing tomatoes at her. In the crowd we see the group of six friends standing next to each other. Rarity is cleaning some tomato juice off of her coat. Pinkie Pie is using her party canon to shoot several tomatoes at Trixie’s face. Applejack and Twilight are sitting next to each other.


That was some quick thinking of you to figure out it was the amulet doing that to her.

Twilight Sparkle

That was some quick thinking of you to get to your tool set and saw it off of her neck!


I hope we still have time to rehearse before Princess Celestia arrives with the delegates of Saddle Arabia.

Zoom on Twilight’s horrified face. To say she’s shocked is saying little.

Twilight Sparkle


(Off Camera)

Twilight Sparkle!!!

The camera pans to the edge of town as we see the towering shadow of Celestia, her eyes glowing and looking as menacingly as ever. The parade stops, as Twilight bites her lower lip. From the cage, a tomato covered Trixie smiles, sure that Twilight is going to get her punishment. Celestia walks towards Twilight, but as she gets closer to camera we see she’s not angry, but happy.

Twilight Sparkle


Princess Celestia

Twilight, I didn’t expect you to organize a tomato throwing parade to welcome the delegates! I’m so glad you studied well the customs of Saddle Arabians!

Twilight Sparkle

Wha-Oh, of course I did!

Princess Celestia

Well, let’s not stop now. They have actually brought quite a lot of tomatoes from their homeland.

The camera pans to Trixie who looks even more horrified as we see several dozens of carts coming into the scene carrying bags and bags of tomatoes that get distributed between all Ponyvillians. The scene ends with an iris fade in on Trixie’s face, and right before it closes she gets another tomato splat on her snout.

A few weeks later the episode gets removed from iTunes and then edited so instead of tomatoes they are throwing flowers at Trixie and instead of Saddle Arabian horses they are Spanish horses. The show gets an extra subtitle: “Political Correctness is Magic”.

(In case any of you forgot, this is inspired by a couple of threats M.A. Larson got on Twitter regarding the use of the term "Saddle Arabian Horses".)


  1. I think the point of magically-enchanted artifacts is that it would be easier to saw Trixie's head off than get the amulet off her.

    1. I think the point of an article titled "Reasons why I shouldn't write for MLP:FiM" is that it's full of reasons why I shouldn't write for MLP:FiM.

      Besides, with Trixie unconscious and unable to control her magic I bet they could perfectly saw off the amulet.

    2. The amulet could work on a single input reasoning.