Reasons why I shouldn't write for MLPFiM - Episode 1, The Apple Dilemma

-          SCENE. EXT. SWEET APPLE ACRES. DAY.

The Apple Family gathers round trying to decide whether they accept the offer that the Flim Flam brothers are making to them or not. They have formed a circle and they are arguing possibilities. Flim and Flam interrupt.

Granny

No way, nohow that machine matches up with the care we put in our cider!

Applebloom

But if it really does work, we could make everypony in town happy.

Applejack

I just don’t know, y’all. We’ve always made cider the same way.

Macintosh

Ee-yup. (Pause) Uhm...

Both Flim and Flam have joined the Apple Family, interrupting their little gathering.

Flim

We'll sweeten the deal. You supply the apples...

Flam

 …we supply the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000.

Flim and Flam

Then we split those sweet, sweet profits...

Flim

…seventy five...

Flam

…twenty five.

Apple Bloom

Deal!

(Applejack interrupts her sister putting a hoof inside her mouth)

Applejack

Hold on. Who gets the seventy five?

(Flim leans over Applejack)

Flim

Why us, naturally…

Flam

(Glowing his horn for a moment)

…and, we'll throw in the magic to power the machine for free.

Applejack walks next to her family, who are waiting next to the cider serving counter, and talks to them in a very soft voice.

Applejack

Ahm not one to give outsiders work, but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

Big Macintosh and Granny Smith lower an eyebrow and raise the other, while Applebloom looks awfully cheerful.

Applejack

Look at it this way. Jus’ the Zap Apples alone gave us enough money to cover our expenses fer at least six months. Besides, we’re the only ones with an apple orchard around ‘ere. Those two circus ponies won’t have an apple unless we let them have it.

Granny Smith

Uhm…I guess we could charge those bambahoozlers for using one of our fields.

Applejack:

Ah have a better idea.

Flim and Flam:

So? What'll it be?

Applejack:

We need your machine an’ you need our apples. We give you the south field, an’ you give us fifty percent.

Flim

Thirty.

Applejack and Applebloom

Forty five!

Flim and Flam

Thirty five!

Applejack, Applebloom, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith

Deal!

All of Ponyville rejoices. Cut to a couple of days later as we see The Flim Flam brothers and the Apple Family working together as ponies come and go throwing money at them. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy joyfully grinds the apples as barrels come out of it, while Applebloom and Applejack serve cups of cider left and right. We see Rainbow Dash carrying several of them as Pinkie Pie bounces behind her with a thirsty and sad expression in her face.

Applejack:

(Voice over dictating)

Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that sometimes it’s better to find a peaceful solution to a conflict before taking a wrong decision that can put what you value the most at risk. I also learned that working with other fellers will sometimes give you the chance to find new solutions to problems you have always had.

Fade to black. The title credits roll followed by seventeen minutes of Brazillian organ music.