MOVIE REVIEW - EQUESTRIA GIRLS

After weeks and weeks of just working on commissions, shaking the stylus left and right, and pretty much being incapable of working on this here blog I have finally gathered  a few extra minutes and just sat down, put on my Brony gear again to watch “Equestria Girls”, and boy, I really don’t know how to start with this one.

I mean, oh my God. This movie might very well be the biggest pile of diarrhoea pony shit I have ever seen in my whole life.

MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER IN A PIE CHART

Yeah, so I did this for shits and giggles.

I spent the entire day painting Rarity's necklace, I wanted something far more simple than that to vent, so I made this.

Hope you find it insightful.

2011 Review in Movies

So 2011 finally ended and my brain decided to keep up and make a quick re-cap of the year in movies. I watched a ton of movies, but not all of them on the cinema. I’m poor, I can’t afford going to the movies, so I guess the best possible option was to catch up with 2010 as well. Now, many of the movies I watched are not from 2011, obviously, so I am making this different from last year’s list. Besides, I haven’t watched many bad movies, not enough to make a top five, or even a top three, so I’m giving more praise than bashing.

MY TOP TEN MOST HATED MOVIE CLICHÉS.

This was the first thing I saw when I typed "Worst Movie Clichés" in Google.

After watching “Luna Eclipsed” I had a conversation with my best friend about one of the most important moments of that entire episode. It’s the moment where Luna scares everypony in town and they run away because of her overreaction. We discussed for a while trying to figure out if this was a misunderstanding scene or not. We reached the conclusion that it wasn’t (I still don’t know what kind of scene it was, to be honest with you), but it got me thinking on the clichés that I really hate. I spent the last two weeks using every moment my mind wasn’t thinking on work or drawing to think on what clichés I hate the most. The result is this list.

Now, before I go forward, I don’t hate most of these clichés. You will tell by the tone of my writing that most of these I don’t really care much for, so this is sort of a pet-peeve/cliché compilation. Probably the top 5 are the ones I hate the most, while the others just don’t really bother me that much, or at least I can understand why filmmakers use them.

Let's Nuke those Tree-Hugging Bastards.

I have all I needed!

Screw the aircraft, screw the missiles, the CS canisters, the fire-rounds, the Avatars, Jake Sully and the Omaticaya townsfolk. Also screw Hometree as well, but that's for a different post. My sister got me in the mail probably the most awesome movie memorabilia item that I own. I don't own many, so that previous statement means absolutely nothing.

Why yes, I've been watching a lot of John de Lancie lately, how do you know? Have some Mug shots!

It's ceramic, not plastic. Isn't it awesome?

Yes, it feels great. All I need now are the scars.

BRIDESMAIDS - Movie Review

(EXCUSE MY GRAMMAR AND SPELLING ERRORS. CONSIDER THIS A SUPER-SHORT REVIEW WHERE I JUST POUR MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS AWESOME COMEDY. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED).

So from time to time comes a comedy movie that changes how comedies are made. The Farelli Brothers had their “Something’s up with Mary”, the Zucker brothers made “Airplane!”, and Monty Python has every single thing they’ve ever done. But sometimes you just want a normal comedy, something to pass the time while you are told a story and maybe even a lesson. Sadly, we don’t have many of these. Comedies nowadays are either game changing, or smelly stagnating in the river banks of creativity-free Hollywood. We don’t have normal comedies anymore. That’s why “Bridesmaids” feels so refreshing.

The 6 Cases of Executive Meddling (That made things better)

You guys know what executive meddling is? It usually involves an executive’s dick, the creator’s ass, and no lube at all. It basically means they will take whatever an artist, a writer or anyone with a mind not driven by bills created, and rape it until there’s nothing left but chunky spunk. Executive meddling is infamously known for taking your favourite properties and destroys them until there is nothing left. It’s what killed Star Wars to begin with (A pox on your house, Rick McCallum!). But, like everything, there are good cases of this. Sometimes executives remind us that they have made lots of money for good reasons: They are, in the end, more intelligent than us about what sells and what doesn’t. And here I give you what I think are the six cases where executive meddling made things better, like for example…

The TOP 10 MOVIES that I LOVE, but everybody else seems to hate.

           Again, and just like Douglas Walker did in his videos, I am doing a follow up to my previous post so I guess it’s time to talk about those movies that everybody else hates but that I actually like and enjoy (Just as a note before going on, I like all the movies he mentioned in his list, so I think that invalidates the title). Now, none of these movies I consider them my favorite nor great or amazing, I just enjoy them more than the rest of the demographic seems to. But again this is all just opinion and mine is not more important than anybody else’s, so don’t freak out if I start calling a masterpiece what you consider a piece of crap. Besides, none of these movies are in my Top 30 and for most of them I have a clear soft spot, so don’t take this too seriously, alright?

TOP 5 and BOTTOM 5 Movies of 2010.

I am a person who grew used to failure. I will leave that there but with this I mean that my awards show didn’t go as well as planned, and maybe it had to do with the nominees I picked, but it also had to do with the audience I aimed it to. Instead of going to individuals who I knew could be objective and fair I threw the ballot right into the hands of fanboys. I don’t mean fanboys are wrong for liking what they like but they certainly are not the people you go to when you want an objective opinion. That’s why I decided to counter my Lion Awards with this article where I talk about the Best Five and Worst Five movies of the past year. I know it’s too late but you should know there’s never late when we speak about the internet.

"The A-Team" Review

Director: Joe Carnahan.

Cast: Liam Neeson, Sharlto Copley, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper.

I have a big problem with this movie. I have a big, big, massively big problem with this movie. I watched it once, around 4 weeks ago from the date of this post, and it still haunts me. It haunts me everywhere I go, anywhere I look and with anything else I play or watch (unless it’s something directed by Christopher Nolan, in those cases I am fine). I feel if I don’t review this piece of shit of a movie and make justice to my soul I will never be at peace with myself, so I better do amends and jump right into it.

"Clash of the Titans (2010)" Review

Director: Louis Leterrier.

Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton, Ian Whyte.

"The Expendables" Review

People love the heat. I don’t mean the weather condition, I mean the human condition. When something is popular and gets much attention you will see everybody else making something that’s slightly similar to what is popular right now. That’s why we saw a lot of clones from “The DaVinci Code”, that’s the exact same reason why Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are still employed, and that’s why during 2010’s summer people liked to do reviews of “The Expendables”. The funny thing about this movie is that it falls in the category of movies you either love to death or hate to death, and it stands there with other movies like “Fight Club” or any Stephen King movie adaptation (except those directed by Frank Darabont).

The Hurt Locker - Movie Review

2009.

Director: Kathryn Bigelow.

Actors: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes.

MOVIE REVIEW - ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Director: Tim Burton (I guess). 

Cast: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway, Stephen Fry, Michael Sheen, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman. 

Year of production: 2010.

- MY TOP TEN FAVORITE MOVIE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME.

            - It is more likely that this list will not be subjected to changes in the future. I say this because, after watching “The Hurt Locker” I realized there’s no more room for creativity in this world. Sure, “AVATAR” is guilty for this as well, but movie characters are not what they used to be anymore. To say that the only production company that has kept that up is Pixar is nothing new, but even them have set up the bar way too high, and one wonders what will be left of them after robots, talking fishes and super heroes. So for this list I most likely won’t move from my choices, and here I set a couple of rules:

           

-         Rule 1: Movie characters only. That is those who were created for the movie and only for the movie.

-         Exception to rule 1: If the character has been adapted several times then is valid.

-         Rule 2: All time periods and all movie genres are valid too.