My Thoughts on Princess Molestia

Art by TheodoresFan, at DeviantArt.

Well, it looks like (some of) the Bronies are at it again. I am starting to feel like a disgruntled father who has a child that, as soon as he turns around, starts setting the curtains on fire and puts the cat into the dishwasher. I am not going to be too reprehensive in this article, though I am going to try and call for calm and order, as I am seeing this happens more often than not every time we are waiting for a new season to start. It’s always like this.

- Latest Season ends.

- Bronies run out of subjects to discuss.

- Bronies scrape the bottom of the barrel to find things to argue about.

- Bronies get mad.

- I write an editorial.

- I get hate mail.

And this time the target of their hatred is none other than Princess Celestia’s alternate interpretation created by artist John Joseco, the big and infamous Princess Molestia, also known as Molly or Big Sexy (as she calls herself). What do I have to say about this? Let me tell you.

First of all I think I should explain where I come from with my sense of humor and what things I find and don’t find funny. It’s customary for me to tell you because if I don’t the whole nature of the article will be compromised. I am Spanish, in case you don’t know, and in this country we don’t care that much for political correctness or respect, especially when it comes to mock those outside of our borders. Unlike Americans, we don’t have that good of a self-sense of humor. We don’t know how to laugh about ourselves very well, though we do know how to laugh about others, so we compensate by not giving a shit if people will feel offended by what we joke about. For example, it didn’t take us one day to make jokes about the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in the year 2001. When the afternoon editorials of the most well known newspapers came out they already had comic strips and cartoons depicting the tragedy in the most “hilarious” ways. We in this country don’t know the meaning of “too soon”. With such a sense of humor my way of perceiving jokes is different, though I can still find other types of humor funny. I can laugh at Stephen Colbert and John Stuart. I can find their jokes funny. The most wonderful aspect of humor and comedy is that it can be universal. But, like everything, the differences between types of humor lie within the details. Some countries will prefer slapstick, others will prefer self-depreciation, and others will fill their comedy with sexual innuendo. I won’t dare to call which one is which, though something tells me they are France, America and the United Kingdom respectively. Depending on the country, the culture and the education there will be appropriate jokes and inappropriate jokes.

My past experiences have made me a very tolerant guy when it comes to humor. Not only for the fact of being Spanish, but also for the places I've worked on and the people I've interacted with. The most recent work experience I've had was in Scotland, and when you work with a group of people that will put on a fake penis in their pants and walk around the office like that for a whole day, you either develop a tolerance for it or find another job. To me the only kind of jokes that will make me angry would be dead baby jokes. Those I can’t tolerate. I’m sure some people will find them funny, but I come from a family where abortion and baby mortality is a big issue. I've lost a lot of brothers and sisters because of this, let alone cousins, so obviously I don’t find this funny at all.

So, now that you know where I come from, lets talk about the focus of this article, Princess Molestia herself, and the issues that seemed to have sprouted around her. From what I've seen in some of the most questionable news sources and outlets (Twitter and Tumblr, since CNN is busy with things that matter) it looks like there is a movement wanting to take down Molestia and everything that has to do with her. These people want her gone because she represents everything that’s wrong about rape and sex jokes, since rape is a very serious issue that should never be joked about. The movement, appropriately called “Down with Molestia” seemed to have spurred after this year’s BronyCon, and thanks to the social media it has expanded well beyond its initial boundaries. You only need to go to Tumblr and search the tags for “Molestia” to find out very opinionated articles and “loud voices” trashing the Big Sexiness and her Royal Plot. I have to admit that I find it both funny and quite remarkable how they want to take down JJ’s blog, despite it been taken down in the past and then restored after the fans complained to tumblr. It seems like the main reasons why they hate her are that she apparently promotes rape, misrepresents the character of Princess Celestia, and children are too exposed to this on the internet. There are lengthy blog entries filled with vitriolic anger explaining how all of this is not right and how everything should be completely gone.

People wanting to censor something. Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Well, I have a couple of things to say about this. 

First of all, about misrepresenting the character of Princess Celestia. Princess Celestia is a good character and she has a lot of supporters out there. She’s kind, she’s regal, she’s wise, and she has been by the side of Twilight Sparkle for the big majority of her life. When it comes to fictional teachers and rulers Celestia is probably one of the most fleshed out ones in the history of fiction, as she is also flawed and prone to make mistakes (like not listening to Twilight’s concerns during the Canterlot Wedding). On the other hand (hoof?) we have Princess Molestia, and where do I start describing her? Princess Molestia could be considered a polar opposite from Celestia. She doesn’t respect anyone’s personal space, she prefers having fun than attending meetings, and her teachings are of a very Not Safe For Work nature. They do share a couple of things in common, like her appreciation for Twilight Sparkle (although it ranges from teacher/student respect to platonic love depending on the character) and her love for her sister (again, it depends on the character) but it’s clear from the get go that they are two completely different characters, all the way down to the name and the way they are drawn. Princess Celestia doesn’t only have a multicolored mane, but also her size is never overly emphasized respect the other characters in the show. Princess Molestia however has pink mane and her size plays a big role in the appeal of the comic. This was brought up by DigiBrony in his analysis of the character, and I completely agree with him, in how Princess Molestia’s “Bigger than Life” nature is transmitted thanks to how J.J. draws her, usually with her big bum in front of the camera or taking huge amounts of panel space. So, personally, I don’t see how Princess Molestia misrepresents Princess Celestia, as she clearly is NOT representing her at all. She’s a separate entity, an alternate interpretation, and they have little to nothing to do with each other at all.

One of these things is not like the other.

Another reason why they are hating on her is because of the children’s exposure to her, because they will be browsing the internet looking for Princess Celestia and they will end up coming across Molestia’s lair, a place nobody can avoid at all costs! All joking aside, this is a legitimate concern, but it has nothing to do with creators coming up with NSFW content and more with parents not making sure their children don’t enter in inappropriate websites. I could argue that this can’t all be blamed on the parents, as it’s also a responsibility of the creators to label, tag, and mark their NSFW content as Not Safe For Work, so the parents can easily block it. But, in the case of Princess Molestia, this doesn’t apply because John Joseco does tag and label his content. He has a big pink warning on the blog that says “FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY”. Any parent can easily go to his or her computer’s parental control and add “Ask Princess Molestia” to the block list, as well as blocking every website with NSFW pony content in them (like Derpibooru, or Rule34paheal). In this issue I can’t take the side of the detractors either. This is clearly not a competence of the creator, it’s the parents’ duty to keep their children safe.

But the one big issue people have with the character seems to be that she promotes rape and sexual assault. Rape and sexual assault is terrible, and it’s something that should be stopped at all costs. I’ve always heard that when rapists go to jail in my country they end up appearing dead in their cells, and nobody knows why (hint: they got axed by the other prisoners), and I personally like that they end up like that, that’s how much I hate rape. But then I am talking about real life, real life is full of terrible things and we have to act towards them accordingly, and that goes from knowing when to take them seriously and when to take them with a bit of humor. Comedy exists so we can let of off steam during difficult and hard times. If you can’t laugh about horrible things and miserable things, what’s the point of having comedy in the first place? For the sake of example, another thing that is also terrible is animal abuse, which is something a lot of people condemn, including myself. But then we don’t seem to have a problem when we see Elmer Fudd chasing after Daffy Duck and blowing his beak off with a shotgun. The same could be applied with Princess Molestia. The way she acts is very tongue in cheek, very over the top, and this cartoony approach is intentional to emphasize the comedy of it. And she manages to do this while never showing one bit of explicit content. I have never ever seen something graphic appear in that blog, except for the one time Princess Luna said “Fuck!” in a non-sexual way. You may argue that it’s not shown but implied and sometimes downright told (Molestia has said one too many times how she likes getting things shoved in her butt) which, according to the detractors, it’s just as bad. But then again, that’s like the shotgun to the face in Looney Tunes. It’s the pie to the face. The anvil on the head. The palm tree after you say “Mmm, mango juice”. These dialogues are meant to build up to a punch line, and sometimes the punch line is way more effective when the dialogue before said punch line is more safe for work than the punch line itself. It’s a comedic resource that I have seen a lot in British comedy, which I will say Princess Molestia feeds off of in many occasions. What it comes down to is that comedy exists for one purpose, and that is so we can laugh and find a way to ease tension about the bad things that surround us, which is why when bad news strike there is usually this need to laugh about them, kind of like how the Spanish news papers came up with all those cartoon strips after 9/11.

I personally enjoy Ask Princess Molestia. I think it’s a really funny blog, with really good artwork, and fantastic character interaction. Chemistry is the keyword when it comes to describe how this blog works. Leaving Princess Molestia aside we also have the characters of Gamer Luna and Derpy Hooves, the two of which have been taking the same amount of spotlight as Molestia herself. Gamer Luna is an adorable, level headed avid gamer who is often embarrassed by her sister’s actions but this doesn’t make her appreciate her any less. After all, they are sisters, and they play off each other really well. We also have that aforementioned platonic relationship between Molestia and Twilight Sparkle, which I personally enjoy in how well carried it is. I see it as more cute than it is comedic, but I guess it all depends on whether you enjoy lesbian ponies or not. I personally do. The relationship between Luna and Derpy, though it seems to go nowhere, is probably one of the most interesting pairings I've seen in this fandom, and the way is presented in this blog feel pretty real. They spend a lot of time together doing the most mundane things you can imagine, which usually ends in either really cute or really emotional outcomes.

Hugs for cuteness' sake don't usually happen with NSFW websites.

The blog’s humor is very tongue in cheek and filled with innuendo, but it can also get very touching and deep when it needs to. The relationship between Luna and Derpy is really good, but the relationship and issues that Molestia has with her mother are unbelievable. This is an aspect I admire from this blog. Anyone who has ever had daddy or mommy issues will tell you this is exactly what it feels like. The few times Molestia has managed to be with her mother have always been very awkward, very short, and never satisfactory enough for her. She has never managed to come clean with her mom, and that is emphasized when we see how Molestia perceives her. She sees her like a faded figure who keeps reprehending her for banishing her little sister, and who is really unhappy with her behavior, disappointed because the daughter who should be ruling a kingdom is feeling up every single one of the royal guards instead. Perhaps Molestia perceives this as her mother not loving her, which might explain why she is so obsessed with looking for love in other venues, even going out of her way to act inappropriately.

Shadowy figures, lonely nights, certainly this blog is all about the sex, right?

Or maybe I’m reading too much into a fan creation in order to present a point on defending it against other people.

Don’t get me wrong though. I don’t like seeing people getting butt hurt over this, let alone attacking a fictional character. I can see why some people will not find this funny, believe me I do. It is true that we have to laugh about the terrible things in life, but sometimes we are so shocked and affected by these things that we don’t even want to talk about them, let alone joke about them. There will be people who are friends with others who have been victims of sexual assaults, which is why they don’t and never will find jokes of this nature to be appropriate, kind of like how I hate dead baby jokes because of the miscarriages that my family has suffered in the past. I know where you are coming from, and I am not saying you are wrong for thinking that way.

I’m saying you are wrong for acting like assholes.

The internet 75% of the time.

If you don’t like something you shouldn't get deeper into it, you should just stay away from it as far as you can. Say for example that you hate Adam Sandler. You hate his movies, his voice, his performance, his sense of humor, etc. So you go to one of his movies, and when you go out you said how much you hated it and how outraged you are that you paid money for it. Well, if you hate Adam Sandler, then why do you go watch one of his movies? If you see a trash can and you get inside, and you cover yourself in trash, and then you scream “I HATE TRASH!” who is to blame here? The trash? Oh no, you are to blame because you stepped into the trash can. If you don’t like something and you know you won’t enjoy it, just ignore it. Walk away. Find something you really enjoy, and ignore what you don’t. You shouldn't go around attacking an artist because he draws an alternate interpretation of a cartoon horse.

Bottom line, I personally enjoy Princess Molestia, I rise my cup to J.J. for more entries on that gloriously funny and plot ridden blog, I call for calm on those who are getting their balls twisted in a tangle because of this, and please stop being mad about things that, in the end, don’t even matter. If you want to condemn rape don’t do it by attacking an Ask Pony blog that’s just there to make people laugh.

And give everybody bedroom eyes as well.